before the snow, autumnal grass. smile.

there has never been and will never be another human on this earth the same as you. you are absolutely, infinitely, unique.

As Children We Grow Like Trees

It's a hard argument to try and convince others, let alone yourself, that you are actually not yourself. At the moment, that is my challenge. It feels so enormous, it keeps me awake at night, crowding my bed and stealing my covers. I wish to help the disconnect between who I think I am, who I desire to be, and who I actually am, and make it hurt less... And sting more...

...With vibrant colors and sparks from fireworks.

This is a task that I have felt lurking inside me over many years now. Now I am ready for it. I want to capture the bees that inundate my day, and take them home to make honey. I want to find people and programs that will challenge every thing that I know. I want to climb trees and listen to what the wind tells me. I want to find you, and I want to find myself. I will wait for you at the Station Inn, I will be the one lying on the floor, in the grass, covered in flowers. I wonder if I will recognize myself.

Seattle

shades of grey

Cheers

I've begun work with Ada S. McKinley, at their Neighborhood House in the deep South, almost Indiana, of Chicago. It's a big house that incorporates all ages in study and activities throughout the day. Bingo in the morning for the seniors, tutoring in the afternoon for the kids, computer lab time in the evening for the teens, with soccer and foosball mixed in between. I hang around with the kids mostly. Their youth has taught me crazy things in the short time I've spent with them, and it brings me back to Rio and Two Brothers, whether I want to be there or not. That city taught me difficult lessons, but ones that have paved the path that I stumble along now. This city is round two, knock down and out. Get back up and swing again, miss, hit, miss. I hit, and look for round three, where will that take me?

The after school crowd comes around 3pm, and the other day one of the girls, Nina, asked me "are you black, white, or mexican?" I smiled inside, someone was actually not assuming I was white. She was barely over four feet, but she stood so tall. I said I was white, and asked her what she was. She said "I'm all three!", and then broke into a traveling song and dance.

So here's to the the youth of America and Brazil, all of the worlds' youth, for that matter, you teach me things I could never learn in books, on the internet, or from my peers.

Fucking Awesome.

a weekend of music. clear blue light.